Sunday, November 20, 2016

Getting Back On Track

                 ***Language Disclaimer***
So I have various social media sites linked up to my blog so people can follow my posts different ways. Today I received a notification from Facebook that's it's been awhile since I've updated my blog page "Becoming Healthier With Sherrie". I went out to my page and saw the last post was almost a month ago, October 25th! My first reaction was, I know I've had a lot going on and been busy, but that couldn't be right because I've written stuff since then. I came to my actual blog site, logged in and went to my posts and realized I had six drafts started of different thoughts/topics but never actually finished any of them, which is why they were never posted either. So, I thought, I need to get back on track, not just with my blog posts, but pretty much life. I've had a lot going on and I've gotten off track with so many things, and now that I've reflected back on these last several weeks, I've realized it's not just one part of my core4 out of line but all four areas I've allowed to get off track. And I say that I've allowed it to happen, because when it comes down to it, only I can control my actions, reactions, and choices. After today's meditation, and also realizing I haven't been posting on my blog, I now realize I was getting in my own head. I was using my "I'm not feeling well" and "I've been sick", as excuses to tell myself it's okay to not workout as much or as hard. I've had to adjust my nutrition, including adding calories, and I now realize I used that as an excuse to not completely follow my meal plan these past couple weeks. I told myself it was okay to not log my workouts or my food because it doesn't matter anyway. I've been telling myself it's okay to not run as much, I can pick back up on my training next week when I feel better. I've been telling myself all these things to justify what? That I'm discouraged and I don't even want to go to the gym anymore? That I actually thought about at the end of the year either finding a new gym or not going at all and just doing things on my own? That I'm tired of dealing with certain people? Because those are the real feelings that I'm having, but instead of leaning into those feelings and dealing with them, I've been what Michael calls dealing with them on the surface. I don't really deal with them, but instead I'm using all these various excuses of what's not going right in my life to justify the feelings to make me feel better; and then when something really frustrates me happens all the little things I just pushed to the side build up and then pretty much take the emotional roller coaster ride. And I won't mention names, but if you ask some people who are in my life daily means I can go from laughing/smiling because life is great, to crying because my feelings are hurt, to being the biggest bitch because I'm pissed off at someone or something, and it changes in a split second. So, after realizing I haven't updated in almost a month I decided I would do an update of what's been going on and what I'm doing to get back on track.

Over the past several weeks I haven't been feeling 100%, but wasn't quite sure why until just recently. A little over six weeks ago I did get sick with allergies and sinus issues, and was sick almost two weeks. But once I got over that I still never got back to my normal self. I wasn't sleeping well, tired all the time, no energy, emotional/moody, and that's when I started to tell myself I need to cut back. But, then a couple weeks ago I had a spell where my blood sugar dropped because I went six hours without eating and it scared me. It was scary how quickly it hit me. When it happened the first thing I thought about was back in June when my lab results showed my glucose in the 60s. It's never been that low, and back in June I wasn't having issues so my doctor said we wouldn't worry about since I wasn't having issues and we would keep an eye on it. Well, I decided I better get it checked out so went in for blood work and not only is my glucose 68, but my iron dropped below normal as well. I've always been considered borderline anemic, but after these results he said I'm dealing with both anemia and hypoglycemia which is why I'm tired all the time and have no energy. It also got me looking at my nutrition. I hadn't counted calories in a couple years because I got so used to carb cycling, but what I didn't realize is I would make small adjustments to my meals like cutting serving sizes, that when I looked at the past month's food journal my daily average caloric intake was right under 1,000 calories. I really thought I was taking in between 1,300 and 1,500 calories a day based on low or high carb day, so not sure how I got to that point. And with all I do, it's no wonder I felt like my body was shutting down. So, Michael and I talked and made some adjustments because not only do I need to make sure I'm getting the right nutrients for my anemia and hypoglycemia, but I need to eat every few hours. But, how am I going to do that without feeling like I'm constantly eating and force feeding myself just to make sure I'm not going too long without eating? Well, I know several people who do Herbalife shakes, so after talking to Michael more about it this is one way I'm getting my nutrients and calories in for the day and not feel like I'm eating all the time. I just got my order couple days ago, and I got my meal plan for next week where I'm incorporating two shakes a day, getting six meals in, and was able to get between the 1,300 and 1,500 calories like I should be getting. And just FYI - when I signed up for Herbalife, I actually signed up to be a distributor so I can order for people. But, I want to take the rest of this month and next month to see what kind of results I personally get, research all the products more to be more familiar with them, and then I'll be able to not only discuss my progress but I'll be able to help others more effectively as well. But, in the meantime if you are familiar with Herbalife and would like to order, just message me and I'll get you taken care of! :)

So, that's how I'm getting back on track with my nutrition, but I really hadn't thought about what I needed to do to get back on track with everything else. I've been telling myself if I get my nutrition on track, I'll start feeling better, and then everything else will just fix itself. But, again, after today's meditation I realized I need to do more. Yes, I've gained some of the weight back I lost since May. Yes, I've not been running like I should the last couple weeks. And yes, I've had days I didn't want to go workout and I really just wanted give up. But, I know none of these thoughts are the answer to make things better, nor is it what I really want. They are just the easy way out of dealing with what's really going on with me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. So, I've been thinking about it, and the main thing I need to do is obviously what Michael tells me all the time, "Get out of my fucking head!" As far as mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, I need to keep doing my daily meditation/journaling. But, not just doing it to do it, but doing it with purpose. I need to create space for myself and make sure I'm taking that "me time". But, to keep that balance, I need to make time for my friends and family and allow myself to enjoy a night out having dinner, a drink, or even just hanging out and talking. I need to stay connected with my faith daily and reading scripture and daily devotions. But, besides getting out of my own head, I need to move forward. I know I can't change what's already happened, I can't change the fact I've gained weight, I can't change the decisions I've made these past few weeks; but I can make the adjustments needed to get back on track, not worry about the "what if's" and the things that I can't control, and just focus on the positive and taking one day at a time. And then make sure that everyone who put up with me, especially my trainer Michael who got to see most of my mood swings, that I truly appreciate them and grateful they are in my life and my support system. I don't know where I would be without my various groups who continue to encourage and support me, even at my worst moments. Love you guys! Until next time...have a great weekend!

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