Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Listening To Your Inner Voice

When I go several days, or even weeks, without being in God's Word daily or without singing or playing my violin in church services I find myself struggling. I find myself getting overwhelmed with emotions. I'm not content and feel confused. Like most people I try to make this a priority and make time, but as soon as life starts getting chaotic and busy, it tends to be something I put on the back burner and go to if and when I have time.

When this happens over a span of several days, or like currently weeks, that's when I notice I struggle to stay positive, I feel I'm not connected in my faith and my relationship with God, and I start feeling down. When I recognize these feelings, I start telling myself I need to do make sure I'm doing something daily that keeps me connected and focused on my faith. I need to make time to read daily scripture and be in the Word, I need to practice my violin or work on songs for church services, or even just put my headphones and put on my worship music; because by doing at least one or more of these things daily for myself.....I will feel better. I will not struggle. I will be more content.

This is something I go through from time to time, and before doing my positive focus and going to church tonight, I was feeling this way. But, as I sat in church tonight, telling myself these same things, another voice in my head said, "You are going about it all wrong! You're making it about YOU!" What? No, I'm not! That's what I need to do to make sure I feel better. And then it was like a little light bulb popped up above my head and I thought, "Oh yeah, that voice is right!"

I reflected on my positive focus I did earlier, and on my original thoughts, and realized in my mind I needed to do all these things for ME! I WILL FEEL BETTER! I WILL NOT STRUGGLE! I WILL BE MORE CONTENT! In reality I need to do these things to learn, grow, and strengthen my relationship with God. I need to do these things to worship, praise, and give thanks to God.

So, what did I get out of this conversation of voices in my head? Yes, I need to make time for these things daily for my spiritual well-being, but I need to remind myself it's for God's purpose and not mine. The fact I get a feeling of content, my relationship with God is strengthening, and that connection with my faith is stronger is a bonus to the real purpose of why I need to do these things....TO WORSHIP, PRAISE, AND GIVE THANKS TO GOD!