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Monday, June 23, 2014

Negativity - Ignore It Or Use It

Recently I’ve encountered some negativity from some friends, or let me rephrase that, I’ve encountered some negativity from some individuals who I thought would always be considerate of my needs and feelings regardless of the fact we share different opinions of how I proceed with my health and fitness journey. It seems like every couple months I get a few people who, just when I think they’ve grown up, will reach out to me with negative comments about Michael and Fitness Together. Even though it still bothers me, I have however decided it’s not worth getting so upset that it affects me in a negative way, and I’ve decided it’s not even worth replying to anymore. I’ve even gone to the extent of telling them how it makes me feel when they do this, but they still don’t respect me enough to keep their negative opinions and comments to themselves. I mean it still hurts because I cared so much about my friendships with them, but at some point I have to do what’s best for me and just let go. So, for about the last month I’ve really just been ignoring any type of contact from these individuals (text and FB messages), but came really close today to replying with how I really feel about them and their comments. But, it seems every time I do reply with how I feel, it makes it worse for me because all they do is come back with more negativity instead of any type of apologies for what they’ve said or done to make me feel that way.

One of the things I’ve noticed is they only reach out when it seems I’m really doing well, and like I mentioned before about every couple months. And I’m not sure why, but it’s like they are seeing that I’m doing well and are doing what they can to point out the negative. For example, my most recent weigh-in update talked about how I gained a little over 6 pounds, but I also mentioned that in the past two days I lost almost 3 pounds of that because I was on the max phase of the Advocare challenge; and I also mentioned the new PRs I made on bench press and back squats. Well, in my opinion, they took this as an opportunity to point out the negative. They both mentioned the struggle of the scales, and one even made the comment you can be great and still be a failure as they pointed out my gain on the scale.

But here’s the deal, before Michael took over all my private training, I was literally stuck for like 9 months. I went up and down with the same five pounds. I just couldn’t break the plateau no matter what the trainer at the time had me do. We tried modifying my nutrition, cardio, and even my sessions, but nothing seemed to be working. Now, looking back, I will say a lot of it had to do with my attitude because I allowed myself to be pulled into a negative atmosphere. So, I had a negative mindset and kept a lot to myself instead of talking with Michael. I was so unhappy that it didn’t matter what I did, because until I changed my attitude and my surroundings, I wouldn’t break that plateau. Michael took over my private training July of 2013, and when he did, not only did I start to see results again, but overtime became happier and as some even mentioned, “Back to the old Shui!”. I was talking with Michael today via message, and he made the comment that this was probably my first plateau within a year. And as I thought about it, I thought, actually I haven’t plateaued at all since he took over my training. Yes, I’ve had a week or two where I may not have done so great, but we either knew it was from stress, lack of sleep, or he would modify my nutrition and then the next weigh-in I was getting results again. So, even though this past week I might have gained a little over 6 pounds, I know that is not a plateau but the fact I did something my body wasn’t used to and that was taking in an extreme amount of fiber and fruit for the cleansing phase of the Advocare challenge I am doing. But, now that I’m on the 5th day of the max phase, I’m already feeling better and I have no doubt I will be down on the scale this Saturday when I weigh-in.

But, besides all that, here are a few highlights of how far I’ve come in just the past year since Michael took over my training by staying positive (for the most part, we all have bad days) and trusting the process by doing what he says with my workouts and nutrition.

  • I’m stronger (I’m deadlifting 275 lbs, back squatting 215 lbs, and bench pressing 155 lbs)
  • I’m leaner
  • I'm down from size 18 to 14
  • I'm down 40 pounds in the past year


So, today I decided to not only ignore their words, but I’m using all their negativity towards me and my efforts with Michael and Fitness Together to fuel my motivation! Instead of pondering on what they’ve said and sulk about it, I’m going to ponder on what they said and use that as fuel to push harder in my workouts, stay on target with my nutrition, and turn all my efforts into success. I will use their negativity to make my life positive!